What now?


so I think I jinxed myself, my last two twitch streams have been an absolute mess, it was laggy, so much latency, and then looking back, it was almost unwatchable.

 As much as I do not care about the numbers of people, I do care about quality, namely in terms of how it looks and is presented.

But because things have been getting bad, I now  no longer can stream on twitch for the time being

 This time around, it is out of my hands, I can clean the computer, defrag, but I honestly just need a new computer at this point. I enjoyed gaming on a PC, but I think it's best to stick to consoles for the time being  and might just save up for a Mac again.

 I mostly use my computer to write, edit and watch stuff. Final Cut, Final Draft and Final Fantasy 7: The Spirits Within...

 There are a few games that are PC only, but I'm not so committed to video games to care anymore... I like video games, but I mostly am just playing on switch these days.

So now, I just gotta figure out  what's next?

With no more Night Night, for the time being, I can't stream Monday or Friday... So all I have left is a podcast to edit and record. 

   What's troubling to me, is figuring out my talents, and how to do something.

I have nothing going for me "offline" (in the real world) so I had twitch for a while to keep me talking to people and make cool friends. 

But now, I dunno...  

I do NOT want to go back to YouTube.   Social media has damaged all of us. So many of us are fictional versions of ourselves with the intent to sell that image with sponsored content or get a deal with some company.

I can't fake it. I can act it, but I'm not worthy of a parasocial relationship. 

I also dislike YouTube so much, algorithms give you the shittiest people, those with big subscriber counts get treated differently than those just starting out. And even then, you have to be this fake character for the rest of your "career" doing beauty tips or unboxing videos, or eating food... That's it, that's your life now. The guy who is excited about happy meal toys. 

From conservative nihilistic Nazis who hate lgbts to "cringe compilations"  of some teenager crying because she hates bullying. The internet, to put it nicely, is garbage.

I don't know what to do next. But something tells me, as much as I dislike it, I might have to return to my roots as a Charlie Brooker knockoff.


 One of my all time favorite shows on television was Charlie Brooker Screenwipe, a program all about television. Even before I did the foolish thing of going "yeah television sounds great" Charlie was there going "is it though? Is it great? Are you sure?" And painted the dour, realistic look at television. He didn't sugar coat it, some shows are just plain terrible with no intention on being good for society, just as something to air in between commercials for car insurance.

For a good majority of my time online, I wrote much like his screen burn columns in the guardian, and had a few (failed) YouTube series that just stole the snarky asshole gimmick. 

But in today's YouTube landscape, EVERYBODY has an opinion, in fact there is a comment section where you can call people "gay" because they like a cartoon that you  don't. And they come in so many flavors, from angry Republican wanting his 15 minutes of Fame, to the Leftist spitballing Junior year Philosophy as if it's revolutionary.

The truth is, none of us are safe. All of us ARE a commodity, and it's all based on what you click and view. 

If I was to make a video tomorrow called "Analysis: Titans" maybe 12 people would watch it? But if I had a thumbnail of myself looking like I saw some breasts on the cover of one of the thousand "American Pie" movies with the caption "SJW TUMBLR MOB RULE CRINGE FAIL COMPILATION FORTNITE #69" no doubt it might get at least a thousand views. 


I took this photo while taking a dump. It's no different than maybe 75% of the reactionary thumbnails you see on most YouTube videos catered towards boys 18-24. 

Will I go back to YouTube? 

Maybe. I do not think my place is on YouTube anymore. However, there is this big empty void left in the world because Charlie Brooker is a bit busy making Emmy winning television shows that maybe he can't make it to the phone right now... That I have to leave that message? 

But honestly, it's too little too late. Media analysis is now "Cinema Sins" or groups of people talking about movies so you pretend that you are their friends while watching. 

I'm a guy...  

That's it. 

And no matter what I say, no matter if it's in text, or on video... It will be ignored. 

These companies do not give a shit about you.   They just want to please advertisers. 

Me, I don't know you. But I know I want to figure out what I'm really good at, and seeing, if what baby boomers have told me is true, I could get PAID for it.

But probably not. I'm not really fitting in any one group. So that's a toughie. 

But hey, I got a contact form now... and if I could figure out how to edit on Windows 10 (and my computer won't crap out on me) I could try and do it.

But who knows?



I drank this, I don't know if there is caffeine, but it's really good. If I start blabbering on Twitter tonight, this would be the reason. But I do enjoy it. I found it at CVS.

I also have been watching The Price is Right and Let's Make a Deal  on CBS all access. I don't care much for their sitcoms, survivor is "just ok" in my book, but the fact I don't have to be sick from school to watch these shows and it can play on my phone or PS4 is so convenient. I might have to check out the new Star Trek show at this rate!

And finally...  TITANS.  i was thinking of writing a huge wall of text about it, but the truth is, all we got is the pilot. The pilot is ALWAYS bad. But there is some accent breaking with the actors, and it follows all the same tropes as all these DCTV shows (like arrow, flash, etc). It is set in Detroit, yet filmed in Canada... What? I enjoyed all the scenes with Starfire, but the ones involving Raven and even Dick Grayson needed work. Brenton is great in delivering the lines, he is presented as charming and witty, but very protective and introverted, it is the BEST of these live action dctv shows, but it's like picking your favorite "beanboozled flavor" from it's violence for violence sake, to "fuck for the sake of fuck" it's trying to be Daredevil on Netflix, but we know the direction of the show will be more like Riverdale. Expect more shirtless scenes and a love story about Starfire and Robin and the drama of balancing Romance with being a hero that saves the world, much like Oliver and Felicity on Arrow or Barry and Iris on The Flash... It is more of the same. I know I won't get different, but I'll take it. Now please give George Perez credit?