So today, while watching my friend steam kingdom hearts on twitch, my computer died...

It was a long time coming. I got it in 2013. I just graduated college in television and film, thinking "I'll get a PC at home, and a MacBook for work" (I didn't have enough money lined up for both, and still don't know how many people in this industry can afford one)

And I never had a "gaming computer" except in second grade at my mom's office, and let me tell you, STREAM WENT REALLY DOWNHILL, AND I DON'T PLAY MOST OF THE GAMES I BOUGHT, AND ANY NEW ONES LIKE PUBG COULDN'T EVEN BE PLAYED ON IT ANYWAY. 

Anyway, I figure my focus was game shows and screenwriting, so as long as I was able to stream (which I did, everything from a news show, to a interactive game show about bingo), I should be fine... 

Don't worry about it, it was a Windows 8 that upgraded to Windows 10. It was bound to be a dinosaur soon. 

 Anyway, in those five years, I was still able to use final draft to create scripts (I even learned how to write comic books in it!)  and ultimately, it was a good time.

Of course, getting little offers for employment, I start getting restless and frustrated, and just tried to figure out what that next thing could be, and I would say this computer, red, was with me essentially as a security blanket for the unknown that was this decade. 

That means, as you can figure out, I am without a computer, which means, unable to screenwrite, or record and edit my podcasts. I'll see how to fix one of those soon. (The Anchor app does have magic)

 However, after a fire scare, I'm used to just being on phone for the time being. I'm lucky to be able to still watch television (the new deal or no deal is pretty good! Titans is still frustrating!) And play video games.

If anything, this is a sign that maybe I should step back a bit in figuring out where I belong, and that discovery of new ideas and ways to be creative.

I have put money in savings for an instance, but it did not surprise me one bit it would happen.   It's five years old, the motor was slowing down and the insides were so caked with dust (and sut) that it was a question of timing. Cleaning it wasn't going to help.  Upgrading the parts would actually be MORE than replacing.  (Thanks crypto, for screwing me btw!)


So right now I'm reading comic books, and writing on my phone. I love writing, articles and these weird rants and diatribes were my talent for a decade. However, with social media on the rise (and medium, whatever that means) pretty much that means things like this is essentially worthless, other than, as a relic from days gone by, or something that if copied and pasted would be one and a half pages on a book that nobody would read.

It's tough trying to find out what my next thing could be, and being without a computer for a few weeks, should be ok.

But with Christmas approaching, I might have to cut a few expenses to make sure I could get some presents to friends, which is tough. But if I budget it out, I should still be ok.

Yes, I am frustrated.  But it's less because "I'm out a computer" and more "lack of direction and nobody helping me push into a certain direction"

I don't think many people care, really. 

If I didn't have a phone, and didn't have a computer, I doubt anybody would care I'm still around. That's the upsetting thing. 

 But, it's lightly raining, its windy, and the cold breeze is slipping through the doors, the weather stripping isn't helping.


So I'm taking the good with the bad, the year is almost over, and yet again, more of the same will happen. As much as I know I'm talented, I don't think it'll get me that far. I have been proven wrong before.

Anyway, I do not need your donations, trust me, there are toy charities right now you could donate to, food shelters that need time and money, people still needing a place to stay because of wildfires. Me without a computer for a bit, will be fine. 

I would plug a patreon, but I don't think anybody listens to it. They do listen to Fun Time Calls though. But as I said in the top, unsure about how to record and edit.  

But hey, if you want to help me out, you could always just ask me questions on curiouscat.

Thank you anybody for reading this, I'll keep you updated. Well, obviously, it's my website. What else would I be doing?