Lost on the Internet


So, it's been a weird few weeks. I have had a stomach flu, I've been having sad slumps, and trying to figure out what to do next.

Currently, I've been twitch streaming, but I don't know how long I can keep that up, which I know is important. I think it's boring, I don't have much to bounce off of, and my computer is lagging a bit even on loading websites. 

The less I get involved online, the less I know the current events. But recently, I saw drama unfold with something I'm familiar with. In 2011, I had a website that sad pretty mean things about a few internet reviews, at the time, I didn't know any better, I was REALLY DEPRESSED, friends went away, I didn't know how to deal with bisexuality, and I messed up. .. I barely spoke about it, except in passing, because I was embarrassed by the content and language.  But recently, a bunch of content creators came forward with problems they had with the website, some left years ago, others as recent as today.  But I didn't know what to do. I felt that other times, it wasn't right, but this time, because it was more personal, and people I've grown to know as friends were in situations that I couldn't believe we're happening even back when I was a jerk.  I have to apologize to all those I messed with in my past, and I would like to believe I've gotten better, but this event is really my ultimate test. .. and so far, all I could do is say these content creators deserved better! I wish I had the power to make a better website to fix this, to make sure the content creators had a place to promote their Patreon and entertaining reviews and retrospectives and just factual videos among other things. But, ultimately, I know all I could do is sit in the sidelines and tell jokes with the actual people that should matter - these victims.  I know I can not reverse the actions of myself from almost a decade ago, but I do know I can be a better person by hearing them out, sharing their content and actually caring.

If it's one thing that's missing not just online, but in the real world - it's people lacking empathy.

We do not care about our neighbor anymore, we have decided being selfish is all that matters, and if I screw you over - it's your fault, not mine.  

I think we need to show kindness, we need to show positivity, even though things might look bad, I think the way to fight all this evil, all the garbage, is simple WITH LOVE 

It's so easy to say things are bad or terrible or sucks... But it's more rewarding to fight that with positive, things that are good. 

Looking at these content creators now - it's no longer "fuck this piece of shit" and somebody having a fake meltdown, it's people showing stuff they love, even if it's quirky, out of their own interests. 

But that's the secret - love and passion for their hobby. Not "identify by my hobby" and see things as threats, but being welcoming to New ideas, or crazy ideas, and even if they flop, what made them interesting in the first place! 

I'm this weird theory I have if you give love, you will get love back.

This means, it's perfectly okay to shout into the void, because most likely, in this big internet that we talk with, you'll find somebody that loves that thing as much as you do... And have friends!  

And it doesn't have to be a big major thing like Sonic the Hedgehog or something obscure as Mario Party. 

I honestly didn't know there was a Game Show fanbase until i had the internet. No matter how obscure, there is somebody there. 

And if there isn't, I know if you post about it, somebody will find that fascinating. 

Everybody has an interest, the secret is to not let it be your identity, and not let it over take you that you need to gatekeep who "isn't a true fan" and who "is killing video games".

I think there are people who haven't quite figured that out yet, and just sit on the sideline and wait til somebody on YouTube "destroys" that person, they want to be passive or stay in the center...

But those people, are quite boring, and most likely are your typical edgelord contrarian looking to capitalize on the popular thing, by saying, maybe it's bad???

You had a harassment campaign a few years back where people gatekeep people's opinions on games (turns out people hate it when you speak about progressive ideology like "body positivity" or "queer protagonists")  and if you are a developer making a game with such things, you are "shoving it in our throats" which is crazy hyperbole, because nobody is forced to play anything...

And this continued with comic books, where they harass women who work at marvel, or when comic books provide storylines that -gasp- are political! And not just political - PROGRESSIVE! 

And at no point, did somebody wonder why they like comic books in the first place? Why instead of trying to ruin something that gives people of color inspiration (like black panther) they look at the books they do enjoy? (I'm guessing it's Frank Miller?) Nobody is taking away that past, you can't get in a time machine and make the 1990s WWF Attitude Era go away.

If you hate the modern WWE for having somebody like Finn Balor promote something like acceptance for LGBTQ+, you can rewatch the same five minutes of triple h telling the godfather's to "suck it" , because that's what you love... 

Focus on the stuff you love and get rid of the hate, and life will be better.

You don't need to spite somebody to get that "checkmate", you just need to celebrate the stuff you love. 

There wouldn't be a High Times magazine if somebody wasn't interested in it. 

There wouldn't be unboxing videos on YouTube if someone didn't enjoy the unknown. 

Speaking from experience, there is no joy in harming others, it only makes you feel good temporarily, but eventually you either lose all remorse, or you figure out that  that's not you. 

So if this becomes a website where I write about Nightwing or Game Shows or Board Games, then do be it.

Because it's better to do something out of love, than ever out of petty. 

And I hope you join me for the ride, or at the very least, this fast article.

The Black Velvet Cupcake


I really miss the Black Velvet Cupcake at Sprinkles. It was chocolate on chocolate and it was really good. I wish I had one on my birthday. But I think it will be back for Halloween.  It's my favorite cupcakes.