I should probably have spent the time looking into talking about THIS FUCKING YEAR on patreon or THIS FUCKING MONTH now on Patreon.
But honestly, I really just want to write and vent and do everything, but the last three or so months I have spent it mostly in some of the worst anxiety attacks to the point I couldn't figure out what to write.
And if you know me - I want to write here, but I got nothing.
It's 2020. I could've talked about my games of the year…. (I did on giant bomb) and currently I can tell you all the games I played IN JANUARY - Phoenix Wright, Cook Serve Delicious 3, Clue, Rocket League, Virtual Pool, The Escapers, The Golf Club…)
And I even updated my letterboxd account again! As it turns out, I like the anime “Death Parade” more than most television shows. I've become the very thing I mocked a decade ago.
Anyway, Christmas - video games on sale the Kirby plush, Uniqlo clothes, etc.
Birthday - bigger Kirby plush, pepsiman, some video games, etc. (I bought my own gifts this year)
2020, for lack of a better term, kind of sucked for me and anybody close to me. And this was BEFORE COVID-19 aka Coronavirus ruined the plans.
I want to keep podcasting and making content, but I'm exhausting myself way too much sometimes, and sometimes have to do that sacrifice that “content creators” (or influencers?) Where it's personal life over content, and I'm still trying to maintain that healthy balance.
If, for some reason, I stop making content, it's really to recharge myself. I know for anybody that is “actually internet popular” that's a recipe for disaster, but considering my views (not that much) I figure, I won't be missed that much…
It's a tough juggle and I'm trying to do the best I can to put out a few flames, but at this point, and I hate to be depressing - I feel like giving up.
Anyway, I hope to continue doing Fun Time Calls and continue doing Game Shows I Suppose and the video series and more, but if worse comes to worse… I'll just go on Twitch and steam to 0 viewers. not because I have to, but, to me, I can relax a bit and play video games or watch YouTube, the usual casual stuff.
I am sorry I broke that new year's resolution to update this more often, but I honestly have had nothing to really say, because most of it was “man fuck this” or “this sucks” and that negativity isn't really what people want me to say and do these days.
Anyway, I'm going to just speed round this stuff…
i bought anime.
Death Parade, Death Note, Cowboy Bebop, and Sarazanmai. I also got Batman the Animated Series on Blu-ray, but that doesn't count.
I'm waiting for Animal Crossing
Everything is bad, Sports is gone, E3 is gone, but for some reason Nintendo Direct sold me on Animal Crossing, just as that nice distraction. I think there are other games out this year like a final fantasy 7 reboot, but my head has been away from AAA for a while, not because I hate it, because I don't have time. I still need to beat baba is you.
Game Shows are great.
sucks a ton of them are in shut-down now, but I've been binging Strike It Lucky, I've been watching The Crystal Maze on Nickelodeon (it's great!) and just trying to feel better. Did you know The Price is Right and Let's Make a Deal are on CBS ALL ACCESS? I have to remind people, because it's very feel good television to watch not just when nothing is on, but because it's there anytime. You don't have to be around in the morning anymore.
Bernie Sanders
I voted for him in California, it's ok if you went Warren or Buttigeg or whoever, I'm for policy. I still think he could be president, but if he's not. Oh well. Policy.
Munch
The Jack in the Box Tiny Tacos with the Quad Bonus Jack is actually good. I'm well aware four patties is a bit excessive.
Reign Inferno Red Dragon is a pretty good energy drink, and I take them whenever I feel droopy and exhausted. (Which has been more common than you think)
Coke Energy was gross.
Corona Virus
Because of personal issues, I've been stuck in the house for almost 4 months at this point, I haven't been to Disneyland or a sporting event or the movie theater or anywhere with a crowd, not even the convention. So while you're all panicked, that has become my new normal, and it's very depressing. You're all going to live how I have to live for a while, I only hope you take care of yourself, and you don't panic shop (seriously, I do need purell and trying to hoard it, makes it worse for me)
and be sure to tip your food delivery folks very well at this time.
I have no idea if I'll get better, I want to host things, I want to write things, I want to create more and do more… but I feel, in a depressive state, it'll never happen. Not anymore.
Anyway because I've become livejournal now, mood is sleepy, currently listening to “I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue” and recently ate the double big mac (its excessive)