I Love LA (We Love It!)
Last Weekend, I went to Anime Expo. You could somewhat read my report about it right below this, I believe.
It was a nice time, it felt like I belong. It did feel like Disneyland where you spent most of your time waiting in line, did “the thing” that took 2 minutes and left. I did leave that place getting excited about Anime, and Fandoms and Communities, and Los Angeles in general. Plus, I might be actually okay in voice acting it seems?
But now let’s get into the sad shit - since she passed away, I did think about committing suicide. People need to understand, or maybe they do - I was raised by JUST her. Most of my family are gone, my friends mostly moved away, started lives. And me? I am alone, stuck with a company to manage, where i don’t have all the answers, stuck with a house I can not afford (i am trying to sell it) and stuck with so many questions about finances, and most of my dreams did crumble and crater.
What am I going to do?
Continue to be myself. So obviously, shaved my head and got a piercing. The shaved head was more of a reset and a confidence booster, and it worked. I am seeing lots of compliments and messages telling me i am “hot” and “sexy” and “brave because nobody can pull it off”
I was not balding, and no, it wasn’t a Britney moment, it was simple - I have not done so many things, and so many excuses as to why.
So, at the moment - I don’t have a car. I had a learners permit, but then pandemic hit and yaddayadda it expired you get it.
So, yeah, all this traveling was pretty pricey, maybe the exact cost of a car payment, gas for a full month AND insurance.. But it was only a few locations.
The photo here was from HI-HO CHEESEBURGER in Calabasas. To summarize calabasas - everything either TRIES to feel like reality show, or they are actually filming a reality show, people pick fights in Erewhon Parking Lots, lots of wine moms with dinners with other wine moms, and a whole lot of people with their “friend” (stylist) to take the perfect selfie for the insta.
Simply put, not my vibe, however, I do respect it, because it has the same energy as when I told my therapist the situation and she said “i appreciate you aware of the situation” before going into the corpo-speak about “blue sky ideals”
Anyway, Hi-Ho was the place where it happened I went there to get a burger, the day of the death, and I wanted to get a second chance. and…. i just couldn’t eat, the guilt was still too strong. I tried. Yes, even with all this new confidence.
Take my word on this - literally the best burger, the best chicken tenders and the best fries. i honestly could have Kirby’d up this whole thing. but, you know, sadness.
My next stop happened on Wednesday (and also somehow Thursday and Saturday) but it was BURBANK
Wednesday - I had to leave the house because photos. Went to Round 1, it was fun. I got a turbo granny plush and would somehow lose said plush as we go to SANTA MONICA (more on that later)
Thursday - It was my mom’s birthday, and I was very exhausted and sad. I took the train to Burbank (again) and went to Gus Chicken from Memphis (which should be more popular than Elvis TBH)
and Saturday - Because it was open houses and I need to find a place to stay eventually when downsizing.
When it comes to “areas that speaks to me” - Burbank is the one that fits the bill. It’s technically NOT Los Angeles (it uses it’s metro) put gets this free pass somewhat because it’s approaching what people consider a weird boundary of San Fernando Valley.
But it’s more than that. Burbank really was this secondary home for me for years and years and years. I remember the old IKEA location that’s now a Netflix lot where they recorded “Floor is Lava” I remember the Chevy’s and the Virgin Megastore, I have went to the Empire Mall once just to go to a gamestop because it was the ONLY gamestop at the time that had a copy of Red Vs Blue Season 3 on DVD.
It was this mix of actual hollywood, throwback los angeles with the bob’s big boy, and this somewhat “classic made modern” that felt somewhat punk. I wish the animation industry was still alive and thriving there, I wish the tv industry was recording in some of those buildings. It still makes me sad.
But the reason I enjoy the place, is that this city has pretty much become this very surrealist spot - it’s full of 2nd and 3rd Generation families, but also full of apartments full of people who absolutely love pop culture (movies, music, gaming, anime) because when you eavesdrop on conversations - it’s hardly drama about their own life. It’s been people talking about this one show they just watched, and just full of the kindest nicest people.
This mix of the “creative” side with all this beautiful art and concepts, and this “brainy” side with some wonderful libraries, and a good chunk of engineers
Even if I never get to step foot in a studio anymore, even if i am never going to be cast, it still feels like this somewhat “feels like everything is happening at all times” feel, with the tranquil stillness that you sometimes wish for, especially near an airport.
Then I went Next Door to North Hollywood, famous for the clown that gives you liquor and if you pick the right time and say - Free STD Screenings (Good News, Your Boy is HIV Negative!)
And so, I went to one cool spot - Horror Vibes Coffee. Located in only two locations - Vegas and here. I decided the one next to that metro that i see in car chases is better.
FUN FACT: North Hollywood is LA, Burbank is not - to know where you are, check with the street signs, Blue is LA , Green in Burbank.
Burbank is home to Halloween Row, with all sorts of fun spooky things, for all the people who just love Horror or Halloween spooky. Bur Horror Vibes Coffee is the kind of spot to go to feel the vibe.
If you need to know a fun fact about me - I am an absolute sucker for “thinks inspired by pop culture”. I would probably be bankrupt on every themed cocktail at Macguffins at AMC if I was just there all the time.
Horror Vibes, has many things related to horror movies without being explicit - something based on Candyman and another based on Pennywise/It and another based on Friday the 13th.
What I thought was REALLY cool (and keeping with “Hey Jordan, you stupid nerd” - they had a section entirely devoted to “The Dark Anime Realm” - and I got a drink inspired by Death Note - “Demons Love Apples” - There is the menu
And yes, they had Jujutsu Kaisen playing on the television in there. Which I guess is SOMEWHAT a horror anime, now that I think about it. But either way. This was an absolute treat while in North Hollywood.
I then took a stop at Highland Park - Highland Park is the oreo cream between glendale and pasadena. And it’s very much where I find is “the coolest people”. Maybe it’s because I am a hipster and some of the spots feel like Portland,. But finally being able to visit there and seeing all the pride flags around, made me not only feel safe, it also made me feel like “Great weekend spot”
The last time I actually was in this area was back in the early 2000s because i showed my mom Galco’s because of the Huell Howser episode of California Gold. Being an independent grown-up means I can buy my own candy and soda now.
Sandwich counter at Galcos also has some cool seals, and a friggin’ sweet peter, and also HOLY SHIT IS THAT GOJO
Anyway, walking out I did see 5 people walk their dogs across the neighborhood, so if you are a fan of “heckin’ cute doggos” this is also the space for you.
However, the real reason I was there - BARCADE. What started that trend, and what was just an absolute delight. Yes, there is an actual tavern bar in there (two in fact) but what I thought was the most interesting - the cabinets were in REALLY GOOD CONDITION. This isn’t those “Arcade 1 Up” mini cabinets - but original cabinets from the 1980s and 1990s.
I took a TON of photos of the event, that I posted on my discord, but let me try and list some of them Because it was an absolute “Jordan Hass Hall of Fame” of video game cabinets.
Crazy Taxi
Lets Go Jungle
Time Crisis 3
A Play Choice 10
A Neo-Geo with Bust-a-Move
NBA Jam Tournament Edition
NFL Blitz 99
Addams Family Pinball
Twilight Zone Pinball
Pinbot
Daytona USA with the vibrating chairs
X-Men Arcade
The SImpsons Arcade
House of the Dead 1
Tapper
Burger Time!
And the ultimate Jordan Game - BISHI BASHI SPECIAL!
If you never seen Bishi Bashi - it’;s essentially wario ware with 3 players. your goal is to complete basic challenges that incorporate those three buttons - red green blue (with this version using a yellow button to essentially “stop the clock” - you complete the challenge you go up the ladder, you fail the challenge you lose a life, lose two lives, it’s game over, unless you continue, and as you continue through the game, the challenges get tougher and win conditions more challenging.
I rarely see Bishi Bashi anywhere, like ANYWHERE - so seeing that here in Los Angeles, in working condition, I had to play it.
Did I make new friends? No
However, I do feel this would absolutely be a place I would go for my birthday next year, or like Round 1 when I need a bit of time to just relax.
Some people want to go Golfing, I just want to play Mortal Kombat II.
But I was getting hungry, and it was time to go eat… iN CENTURY CITY
You might have remembered seeing Century City featured as a joke used in Barbie, that movie you remembered and said it was great and probably hardly ever thought about it since it was released on HBO Max.
Well, I have never actually been. I know it’s an outdoor mall, the weather is hot, LETS GIVE IT A TRY, and the very first thing I saw was a crowd in the Westfield Mall gathering for THE WORLD CUP OF KICKING A BALL
About an hour later, this got so congested, I couldn’t find where I was or going - which again, is my biggest fear - Large Crowds.
This was worse than Anime Expo.
However, seeing how big a crowdsize this was to watch a game, and celebrate was essentially something that got me really happy. I typically avoided FIFA, because hey, remember when they kissed Trump’s ass by giving him a trophy?
It was however, a different level, this felt like a meet-up that you see in memes but never in person, lots of people getting snacks, juices, standing up, taking photos,. it was SUCH a unique experience, and moments like this, is what makes me love this city so fucking much. There was this feeling of community that you rarely see.
Anyway, i went to AC Barbeque - people might remember last year when Arby’s had BBQ Sandwiches with Cedric the Entertainer and Anthony Anderson - it was to promote their barbeque cookbooks and sauces, but also the launch of this restaurant.
I took a photo of my meal, just in case it was my last - and it was the “A to the C” platter - pulled pork, brisket and chopped chicken.
You need to remember - at this moment in time, I BARELY ate. I am weeping and greiving over my mom passing away (I still am) but it’s to the point, where i can’t stomach much, I wanted to have the best “sampler” of items (and both Anthony and Cedric have said in interviews this was the thing to get if you’re new)
And I honestly cleared that tray. it was like kirby. - Keep in mind only 3 of those 6 cups are sauces, the rest are all pickled items - onions (good for palette cleaning) jalapenos (my least favorite item, but i still tried it because, sometimes, they pickle them) and of course… the classic pickle, which I thought was a great thing to add - so at one point, as a messy boy, i put EVERY meat on a little bit of the white bread, added a pickle slice and the BBQ and almost made a decked out slider, and it just sent me back into one of my realities -
Wait a fucking minute… don’t people like it when I talk about food?
And I am so excited a mall that prides itself on designer handbags and suits, will someday have a TACO BELL LIVE MAS CAFE (not a cantina, more on that later.
The last thing I got at my time in Century City was a HOKEY POKEY ice cream. The pride of New Zealand, I remember reading about this essentially right when Taskmaster NZ started up several years ago. I have never had this flavor or how it was prepared - but it was velvety smooth and the crunching topping tasted like honeycomb, just this sugary-sweetness that also had a somewhat salt component that balanced EVERYTHING about the ice cream, in a way that I really loved it.
I know this doesn’t make me an honorary Kiwi (i think Guy Montgomery gives that away as a prize for his spelling bee) but it was a great ending to a wonderful day. where I am still trying to find myself.
The last day (and I mean actually last day of this) saw me in the Tourist Hell that was HOLLYWOOD
I went to a Dave and Busters, the arcade games were jank and it made me sad. But the Hollywood Huskies outside doing pet adoption was REALLY CUTE
So i went past all your favorite landmarks such as
The movie theater that still does premieres and the entire time, vape smoke was just all over the place to the point it was absolutely making me vomit.
Yeah, oh wow, its SO healthier now that the tobacco doesn’t smell like a forest fire but now the EXACT smell of if you spilled monster energy drink at a gas station bathroom.
There was Kimmel from Los Angeles’ ONLY late night talk show on network tv anymore.
And the FIRST of THREE stops on this final leg of the amazing race - THE TACO BELL CANTINA
I remember seeing it, you remember seeing it, but guess who was NEVER able to go? ME! I have never been! Me! The Taco Bell Dipshit!
So I was able to get in, and order from the kiosk - Enchirito (because 90s) The Crunchwrap Supreme (my go-to) and a Grande Nachos (are they back or was it exclusive? fuck if I know)
I was really there for one thing and one thing only - A BAJA BLAST FREEZE WITH ALCOHOL IN IT
This obviously felt like a touristy item - obviously it’s a slush and I DECIDED TEQUILA WAS THE RIGHT THING TO GO (because lime + tequila)
This was the first time in a long while I drank, and I think I made a good call on this. The Taco Bell did take a while, and I felt really bad because it was only 3 people working both the bar and the kitchen.
However, watching a Dodgers Game while it was happening. I felt right at home. Even though people were there for the first time, like me, I did feel like an expert and people did approach me to help them, which I did.
I walked past the Egyptian, and saw the Netflix Studio Store, They did not have Squid Game, much to my sadness, but they had a strangy thing.
But instead, I went to what I feel is one of the “pop culture landmarks” of Los Angeles (and San Francisco and Berkley)
Amoeba is simply put - the ultimate media store. Yes, it is FULLLLLLLLL of music, Vinyls, CDs, Posters, etc.
They have MOVIES and TV SHOWS on Blu-Ray and DVD, they have SOME video game merch, while it is in the middle of a tourist area, and always busy, it always felt like a place where, I could legit be there for SEVERAL hours, and just lose track of time.
So I tried to do my own version of “WHATS IN MY CART” featuring Game Show Themes, The Strokes, and Fred Armisen’s 100 Sound Effects on Vinyl.
I was honestly, trying to find some Rancid and i think it was out of stock, including CHEF AID,, which is sad, but I still want to share BRAD LOGAN with everybody.
I really wanted to see if they had Suburban Rhythm (for Game Show) but that was also very rare. They also did not have much in the Video Game and Anime OSTs as you would think.
I also did not find BLARF, which is weird because Eric Andre goes there occasionally, so I would assume his music would be there.
At this point, I made it to my final stop - SCUM & VILLANY, but before I did FIVE instagram girlies were all saying some effect of “ew, this place is disgusting”, either because of homeless (who from what i was gathering, weren’t harassing anybody, they just were battling some classic schizophrenia) and others who clearly never been to an URBAN city before (I feel besides DTLA, this is the closest to “New York”/”Chicago” you can get in this large wide city.
You can tell who are regulars because they are just walking normally, following the classic rule - IF THEY ARE HAWKING KEEP WALKING, and at one point, I think I saw the FASTEST transition for somebody getting a Street Dog in history. and I kind of wish I had Zelle set-up to try it. The LA Street Dog is typically a Bacon Wrap Hoffy Dog, with Peppers and Onions (think like a classic Italian Beef Sandwich) and sometimes Jalapenos & Habaneros, and Mayonaise (if they were GOOD GOOD, it would instead be the Crema you see on Elote)
And it is legit one of my favorite things, if cooked correctly, at the perfect time.
Anyway, “ew gross” people left and I went to the bar.
When you enter, it feels like the holodeck at Star Trek, but, y’know not the biggest budget. the simulation takes you all across the universe and the place we just stumble upon is…. the cantina from Star Wars.
Adorned with pop culture references all over the place - from Predator to Spaceballs to Doctor Who (and yeah Harry Potter) - It felt like Attack of the Show never left, or it’s the bar you go to, when Um Actually is not in season, just to get an edge in next season.
My order was simple - the Kirby Queso (because ITS KIRBY!)
An “I am Grootbeer” that was a root beer themed shot (root beer schnapps and whipped cream) and it was legitimately right there as MY FAVORITE COCKTAIL, It was a boozy root beer float without ice cream, that was the best way to describe it.
And a special of the day that had the BLUE MILK (not THAT blue milk) with a choice of salad, burger or chicken sandwich, and of course, CHEWY SAYS I SHOULD PICK THE FALCON BURGER
Burger Wise - it was fine. Again, you are really here for the ambiance and hopefully on a date with your nerdy partner, or with a group of friends after seeing Dimension 20 at the Hollywood Bowl.
But I will stress this - this was still a REALLY GOOD burger in comparison to anything you would get at a theme park. I would even probably advice if you REALLY are an out-of-towner, visit this place to eat, and get a fun vibe BEFORE going to some of the places I brought up. Maybe go to the Warner Brothers tour, but do make a stop here. The drinks are STRONG with this one (you see what I did there? that was a star…star wars…)
On my way home I did go to BOOK OFF in Woodland Hills, and was still impressed by it’s manga collection.
Very fun to see a ton of Demon Slayer and even a few Kirby games inside the store, but the alcohol was making me tired, but i wanted to do one last thing…
Popcorn Chicken from DAVE’S HOT CHICKEN. when you go for the first time you really don’t know what to get (where like Raising Canes just says “tenders”)
I will say - the popcorn chicken is THE BEST THING ON THE MENU, better than tenders, better than the sandwich, better than the bites, POPCORN CHICKEN WITH THE RIGHT SPICE LEVEL hits perfectly.
For me - It was the classic HOT spicy with the Spicy BBQ and Daves Sauce. This was my tolerance, I am sure if I wasn’t tired, I would attempt the reaper.
Just Kidding, it was to go to the Dave & Busters in Northridge to play ONE LAST GAME of Deal or No Deal.
Deal or No Deal, the arcade cabinets have already been dipping away from arcades across the country, so there is a VERY GOOD chance, this will be my final time ever playing the arcade game based on my favorite game show.
And sure enough, my game had the TWO highest values left in the final round, 200 and 500 with a final offer of 350…. and of course a NO DEAL that gifted me the big win.
I don’t know what happened, same thing happened at the Hollywood D&B and on stream - I have so far been the luckiest person playing these games, and winning the top prize.
it sucks the show is no longer on the air, because this is the kind of confidence once would need to play Deal or No Deal if it was still on the air. ANYWAY, BRING THE SHOW BACK AND MAKE ME A CONTESTANT YOU COWARDS AT NBCUNIVERSAL!
I hope you really enjoyed my tour of Los Angeles, it was absolutely delightful sharing with you some of my favorite spots in the area and—- wait… wait…. i think I missed something….
OH SILLY ME, THE ONE PIECE CAFE! yeah I went there on my way to Universal that day I was in Burbank which lead to the trip to Santa Monica, and OH DAMN MY MEMORY
The menu was a cross between Japanese and American Fusion which I found really fun and playful.
You can now piss in the world of one piece!
So, Sanji (pictured) is the chef on the show. If you never seen One Piece…. uhhhh oh dear we don’t have much time. BOY DREAMS OF BEING GOOD PIRATE, MAKES FRIENDS
I had the Takoyaki, because if you have not met me before - you need to know, when people think Japanese Cuisine, they usually immediately think of “Sushi” or “Ramen”, and maybe because your boy Jordan is just an urban sprawler, but I am always a sucker for street food, and one of the BEST things in the world is Takoyaki.
Takoyaki is like this savory donut where there is octopus in the center. If it’s properly good, it is almost disintegrating into your mouth or just a light chew like a fried shrimp. If it’s bad, that octopus will taste like rubber bands and ruin your night, but then add ALL THIS UMAMI flavor with benito flakes or kewpie mayo and it’s just a recipe for YUM!
I also had Sanji’s Spicy Chicken Katsu Sando. which was absolutely delightful, the breading on the chicken cutlet was out of this world, the toppings such as pickled cucumber (that isn’t pickles) brought a refreshing variety, and the spicy sauce did hit, but in a very savory curry way that made everything come together, the sad part was, I took one half sandwich, then ate the coke float band by the time i had the second half - the sandwich melted nad all the pieces fell on the fries, it was okay, I still enjoyed it.
I did not go here during Anime Expo, which I assume was a long wait, however, going in a mid day mid week, it was a great time, and the food was still absolutely delicious. MAYBE I WILL FOLLOW MY DREAMS, JUST LIKE THE KING OF THE PIRATES, LOOF!
So then in a silly decision, I took the Waymo which is only good on CITY STREETS ONLY in Los Angeles to take me from ONE PIECE CAFE all the way to NINJA TURTLES PIZZERIA - and it was a 90 minute drive that costs $24.
My Spotify was playing in the Waymo, my phone was charging. Things are good.
Because it was a 90 minute drive - this took me on a real SCENIC TOUR of Los Angeles - So I was able to go through Crenshaw, East LA, Echo Park, Culver City, pretty much the Waymo was driving like it was lost on it’s way to Santa Monica to get to a pizza place. and it was perhaps the most insane experience. On one hand, i am pretty sure somebody underpaid is shitting themselves pretend driving this car., On the other hand - I was able to see a quinsenera, a wedding, a funeral, a line to get some merch drop, an outdoor rave with mist spraying, and a kid totally eat shit on the street on his bike trying to impress somebody.
Eventually, we were there, it did JUST open a few weeks ago, but here we are, in line to try it as well.
I think Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was definitely that cartoon series for the “80s and 90s kid” when I was very young, I still remember WHEN TMNT was on the air - and the fruit snacks and turtle pies and everything.. Now, the Turtles love pizza, but this place did NOT do the wacky slices like Marshmallow and Anchovy - just some classic New York Style Slices of classic New York Style varierty (Cheese, Pepperoni, Some Bullshit with Basil Pesto, you get it)
As I was standing waiting for my $12.50 for a soda and slice, nerdy people were taking photos and willing to share the help. Never underestimate the kindness of nerds, folks.
MY MAYOR MUSLIM
MY BAGELS JEWISH
NINJA TURTLES
KNICKS IN FIIIIIVE!
Anyway, the pizza was just basic new york slice, very oregano heavy, i feel it would be better with a bit of crushed red pepper + that powder mozz, but it was still pretty good. There are other famous Santa Monica Pizza Places instead.
When I saw this, I forgot the world cup was going on. I forgot it was taking place HERE.
I went to the Uniqlo to pick up airism v-necks (they did not have any, or maybe they did, but i could not find it oh well)
Did you know the host of Jeopardy is actually pretty fucking hilarious? I know, shocking!
I have been trying to not read the manga so I don’t get spoiled, but uhhhhh Unji Zuma is very Jordan coded and you can find out when he probably shows up in like Season 4 or something.
So I walked all the way past third street, past the bridge down to the pedestrian road, where the beach is, and past the Santa Monica Pier to take a photo of a really good Corn Dog place. I really regret not getting their lemonade, but only for that day - i know i will eventually return.
And now the true reason, and secret spoiler ending that was why i did the fake “oh yeah I forgot” THIS WAS ALL ABOUT MY MOM.
When she was stuck at the house, her big thing was getting out of the house and seeing the beach one last time. I made that promise to her.
It…. did not happen, obviously.
But I told her I will be there, I will be there at the beach for us both. And I genuinely felt her prescence being there…. there wasn’t “ash in the ocean” or anything like that, but it felt like once I finally saw the ocean wave, I felt VERY exhausted, but not because of walking, but because it took so long to finally be back, and I think she would be happy, and did experience this journey with me.
Sure, the first part was all about me and the dumb nerdy stuff - but the reality was - it was just to get my mom to the beach. It was just doing that in the middle of finding where I belong.
And I am so glad she finally got to do it, she finally got to see the beach. And she can see it every day now..