A long ass time ago, in the early 2010s, when I was REALLY depressed, I had a website where I talked about internet culture alot. It was really terrible, different time, you know the drill. It’s like those old tweets you haven’t deleted.

Anyway, because I really want to get back into my website with WRITING because, hey, I used to do that, and there is no ads here. I thought it would be really interesting to talk about the exciting world of internet celebrities making food.

Y’know, before a more popular YouTuber like Eddy Burback or Scott Cramer takes this topic on - or come up with their own food things.

MrBeast, in general, I believe in the Gen Z/Alpha version of Ellen. That’s all. There is a big production team behind the “MrBeast” brand, from videos to merch to micromanaging the brand through foodstuffs like it’s BTS Merch at a FYE.

They know how to create engaging content, that gets viewers, those viewers buy merch, they buy foodstuffs, and much like blue checkmarks paying $8 a month, thinking it’s a lottery ticket to get a free tesla or trip to mars from “Mr Anti-Woke-Mind-Virus”, I think based on the youtube videos, viewers get the assumption, if i continue throwing money, maybe they’ll give me $10,000 or a game console, or a chocolate factory?

While I wanted this article to be more about the pre-packaged stuff you get at a grocery store, MrBeast and his branding, also have a Ghost Kitchen, so available at Buca Di Bepos near you - are MR BEAST BURGER

Again, not really trying to do a restaurant review, because I have covered this very place multiple times before on podcasts, on social media, etc. But Hey, is this social media? Or this is a guy’s blog disguised as JOURNALISM?

Mr, Beast Burger is a smash burger (when you take a small meatball and smash it on the grill with the spatula so it cooks fast in it’s own oils, making a crispy patty) and the trade secret - brown mustard, straight from your favorite Jewish Deli.

There is pickles, onions and ketchup, there are chicken tendys and crinkle-cut fries, and while “the burger” itself is tasty, BECAUSE ITS A GHOST KITCHEN and therefore needs to be DELIVERED to you, like any burger being delivered, it disintergrates before consuming, making a messy patty with parts of a bun. If it’s a ghost kitchen with one chef working multiple orders, expect it to be even worse, because nobody should be that overworked over a “Food Concept”

The “physical space” does not exist, and while i think it would make branding opportunities just like the video, where there are plastic cups with your favorite “Mr Beast Hype House Squad” guys like Chandler, and… Scooter? and I think there’s a Josh?

You instead get a can of pepsi with your order. thrilling.

I think it’s a neat enough concept, the burgers SHOULD be good, but because of the minutae and because of ghost kitchens in general - it’s a 3/5.

But the Beast does not stop there. The people at “Feastables” have a selection of “Mr Beast Chocolate Bars” (and based on this photo, Corpse Husband - an American VTuber whos persona is… Hell Demon Death Note OC?

Now, I wanted to get the DEEZ NUTZ bar, because HA HA DEEZ NUTZ, gotta love that early 90s comedy. But I did try 3 bars - The “Milk Chocolate” the “Original Chocolate” and the one featured in this photo - the “Quinoa Crunch”

Two of which, I have ate on camera, so the reviews remain the same.

Milk Chocolate - It was very waxy, the exact kind of chocolate you get at Easter that comes with the easter bunny, where you just sorta eat it and just go “oh okay”. The limited ingredients (which is truth in their label) is however, a nice surprise. 2/5

Original Chocolate - The original chocolate, which is a stretch of a term if I’ve ever seen it - is more of a “lighter dark chocolate”, it is slightly bitter at first, but in place of a “waxy coat”, the somewhat sweet shows up at the end. As a chocolate bar, I would be disappointed, however, I do believe, in all honesty - this is the PERFECT kind of chocolate you could use in baking or cooking. It has an easy melt point, making it perfect for chocolate chip cookies, a homemade frosting, or more. As a standalone, it’s a “lose’, but with creativity (even if its s’mores) it’s a “win”. 3/5

Quinoa Crunch - Take the chocolate review I just did, now try and replace puffed rice (like in crunch bars, which is kinda rice krispy cereal) and replace it with puffed up quinoa balls. While I don’t think I’ve ever had Quinoa in a chocolate bar before until this review, I would say as a rice replacement - it overtakes the chocolate. It tastes like a rice cake but with the chocolate stuff drizzled over it, It is however, an improvement on the “classic chocolate bar”, but i would not advice using this candy bar in cooking. 3/5

Even though they sold out, the Chocolate Sea Salt did seem like a flavor that would interest me the most, as well as Almond Chocolate, if the ratio was like the the Quinoa Crunch bar, that would be probably the best offering in terms of “Mr Beast themed candy”.

The red cookies and cream death metal goth chocolate? couldn’t be found, maybe some other time!

If you are a child, or a teenager or recent high school grad with the mind of a child, you know who Felix Pewdiepie is. Felix is a famous YouTube personality for his “bro fist” and screaming “oh shit” “oh fuck” at a scary game once.

He’s also famous for saying racial slurs on a bridge, and paling with Ben Shapiro on YouTube, but HE’S NOT POLITICAL YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY.

Essentially, he’s the most famous Swede since ABBA. And what happens when you are famous for playing video games? YOU GET AN ENDORSEMENT FROM “THE OFFICIAL DRINK OF ESPORTS” GFuel.

We’ve covered GFuel here before, the powdered stuff anyway. And while I still hold my statement, that GFuel is one of the “better energy drinks” out there - I am somebody with caffeine sensitivity. so that crash afterwards was NO BUENO (even though they claim it does not crash, there were a few restless nights after that trial)

Anyway, GFuel has had cans of the stuff, and while the ICE BLAST from Mortal Kombat was good, I found the Bahama Mama, my favorite of the GFuel Flavors to be “really terrible carbonated”

That’s right, GFuel in cans are carbonated. I’m guessing they had to off-set a “pour the powder into a cup and shake it” for a carbonated type, so the carbon dioxide acts as a “mixer” to stir a concentrated mix into the drink.

PewDiePie’s GFuel can is pretty much, an energy drink version of the Lingonberry Soda available at IKEA. And that actually is a very pleasant flavor. I am unsure if people will say “this is my favorite flavor” if it wasn’t for the Pewd Branding on it - but as far as flavor is concerned, It’s actually one of the better ones. I would give it a 5/5, even though I am sure there will be another apology video from him sometime in the future when he makes some transphobic remarks or says that “Trump is my President” or some dumb shit like that.

So drink it up while you can, lads.

Finally, I got some HOT ONES BONELESS CHICKEN BITES.

The one in this photo, with the “three sauce packets” was not available at Walmart. I was pissed, Instead, all they had was the same bag, but with the “MILD” Classic Hot Sauce.

Prepping is very easy, they have microwave, air fryer or oven. and you stick it in, wait however long, turn them, heat them again.

During this process, you have a broken ice cube that was once hot sauce, and you need to thaw it out by sticking it in really hot water. I suggest using a large bowl with whatever keurig you use, a tea kettle if you’re british, or an instant hot sink tap, if you ate a ton of ramen in college and needed that.

It’s tough to review this, as the show is about celebrities eating 10 chicken wings and these are clearly chicken nuggets (more of a chicken ball? chicken meatball? chicken scallop?) and are very large.

Paired with the hot sauce? it was not a winning combination. The Hot Sauce itself, while flavorful (and spicer than most store-hot sauces) did not really taste well with the chicken meatballs here, however, if butter was added and proper bone-in chicken wings, this would be one of the better wing sauce recipes.

The hot sauce, probably is also good on tacos, pizza and other things that hot sauce people probably put on things.

However, on these? It was very meh, as just a hot sauce on a breaded chicken meatball, it tasted more like a hot chicken recipe that went haywire.

My suggest, besides just “keeping them separated”, is to maybe buy the sauce itself and dip KFC Chicken Nuggets in them for a better effect?

And with the chicken bites themselves, cook them as instructed, but probably put them in spaghetti for a variant on a chicken parmesan.

3/5

My last review of the day, because it turns out most social media influencers just get paid to sell crappy phone games, hello fresh, mattresses, magic spoon cereal, masterclasses, audiobooks, podcast live shows, conventions, personal cameos, subscription services, new merch, and whatever content group they are a part of.

They must not be famous enough for these food adventures, TISK TISK content creators, TRY HARDER, YOU NEED TO WORK EVERY DAY, RISE AND GRIND, IF YOU DON’T MAKE THAT PIECE OF CONTENT TODAY, EVERYBODY WILL HATE YOU, AND YOU’LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORKING AT THE POST OFFICE OR BEST BUY

Anyway, again, slow day, but Ghost Kitchens are still a thing and it turns out TIKTOK has it’s own kitchen. No word on if CHINA IS SPYING ON ME with this food order, as the U.S. Government is suggesting. Also, no word on if it makes me better at dancing my problems away.

It’s another Ghost Kitchen, and this one is at the same location as Mr Beast Burger. Which means, you gussed it. It also has a GUY FIERI FLAVORTOWN GHOST KITCHEN as well.

Guy Fieri’s ghost kitchen has a really good burger with mac and cheese, it did not disintegrate upon delivery, but the pasta was salty as shit, and i had to wash my mouth out with the pewdiepie gfuel just to make sure I could taste something. I finally tasted “donkey sauce” and… it’s garlic aeoli. Who knew?

But can the TIKTOK Generation make a restaurant that could take on the MAYOR OF FLAVORTOWN and the guy famous for a SQUID GAMES IRL video? Well, the answer might surprise you… No.

I really wanted to like TikTok Kitchen, I honestly did, because one of my favorite things to do on TikTok is look at food videos and see all these strange new food creations, and this kitchen DID have some of those creations.

It isn’t “TikTok Kitchen” as branding there suggested, but rather “Creator’s Kitchen as seen on TikTok”

I tried the pizza logs, which are eggrolls stuffed with pepperoni and cheese with marinara for dipping - and was really disappointed in how bland it tasted. If Guy’s pepperoni pasta was a salt mine, this was like a disappointing lunchable I had in 3rd grade.

The burger they had on offer, was a smash burger, much like Mr Beast (Guy’s was a regular beef patty) and it had onions, cheese and a “special sauce” that originally, i thought was the donkey sauce at guy’s ghost kitchen, but after second taste - it was an attempt at a thousand island with garlic. It was of all the offerings, the most “okay” thing, but a smash burger with sauce, doesn’t really give me that “TIKTOK BRANDING WOW” - especially when I have seen burgers with pesto, burgers with cola-soaked onions, burgers with cheese inside the patty, and even burgers with everything bagels as buns on the platform.

Lastly, I did try the Prosciutto & Hazelnut Spaghetti, because, hey, the ghost kitchen is a PASTA RESTAURANT what could POSSIBLY GO WRONG, and it turns out, the pasta only had half the stuff on it. no, not like “we got half the ingredients and forgot”, i mean the sauce and all the offerings were on one-half of the pasta, with the other half being PLAIN, like no sauce at all on the sketty.

I tried stirring it, I tried mixing it, and what i got was just another disappointing pasta. the procutto was crispy to the point it was just chewable leather, and the nuts, while complimentary to the sauce, were so tough, i was fearful i was going to chip a tooth and go to the dentist.

I like the idea still, but maybe i had a bad ghost kitchen this time around, but when I am looking at TikTok Kitchen, I am seeing some far-out future foods, I’m seeing Impossible Burger Sliders with chimichurri, I’m seeing street tacos with a generation-to-generation salsa, i’m seeing breakfast monstrosities, and I wish they leaned more into it.

Everything on offer gets a 2/5

In conclusion, while we should finally cave-in and admit that content creators are the modern celebrities, and they have their own endorsements and products, we need to separate the content creator from the product at all levels. It’s understandable a “fan” of a content creator would buy one of these foodstuffs to support the person (or as they are pretty much known now, because of their team, an “entity”), we should not be afraid to point out that some of the time, if not most of the time - they are selling some really sketch products. And while the quality on many of the items might be good, might not be for everybody, and while the quality on MOST are just really wish.com levels of crap - we should not take it out on the content creators either, who were most likely handed a big bag o’money to give their likeness to a terrible drink, a food concept, or maybe a new type of on-the-go snack pack.

The internet is really oversaturated with content, and the business-side of all this continues to be this massive battle royale for attention and endorsements. If you ask me, however, the only one I see that has worked out was PRIME, from KSI and Logan Paul. Because even though they put money into it, do commercials for it, you’re not “BUYING” the KSI and Logan Paul energy drink, you’re buying something called Prime, that they have.

Ryan Reynolds didn’t put his mug on the Aviation Gin, but he sells the shit out of it, and that’s the future of content creation in this space - expect content creators to get into shark-tank-level-entry businesses and try to market everything in the means of business.

But, also, expect more companies reaching out to youtubers and trying to get them to sell broken, busted AAA video games, drink mixes that are made with chemicals you can’t pronounce, and flavorless ice cream sandwiches.

WE’RE IN THE FUTURE, FOLKS!